yay. here's some fking good news, everyone:


I'M NOT IN THE GOH!


rejoice everyone who got in. smile. laugh. fk them. :| and you know what i promise you i'm not deleting this post. cause i have the right to release my angst. for the first time, i was hoping that my luck will change. guess the holidays are super UNLUCKY for me.


i'm jotting this WHOLE thing down so that i will NEVER EVER forget. anyway, np started late.
at 2pm then start.
blah blah.
i was in group D.
REJOICE cause got weichong and tengku.
then we all practise and practise.
finally, it was our turn.
butterflies in my stomach, adrenaline rushing etc.
i fk up on the first command. ):
then when the mdm "reshuffled" us, we got have to follow this format.
i fked tt up too. ): i guess my drills must fked their eyes cause it was fking horrible. ): yes.
they announced the BEST 20.
the rest of us, including me, just stood there looking like fking losers.
5 min break cause there were a few who cried. that MAN is purely ice. cant they feel the hurt we are feeling.
the LOSERS remainders ones not chosen, we were pouring out heart out.
i sang "We're All in This Together", to stop them from crying.
i was being totally OPTIMISTIC. just holding back those tears. i didnt want anyone start consoling me. or i might bite their nose off.
our 2nd try. in the end only 9 people chosen.
3rd round. blah blah.
finally, only 3 people left. they are in the contingent. most likely reserved.


there you go. how wonderful like is. everything i sacrificed. those hours i spent on proposals. wasting midnight oil just to hand in the fking proposals. all those time i spent hoping that something good might come in return. ALL THAT FALSE HOPE. all the pain and suffering i get. honestly, why should i go LMSC now? i'm not in the GOH. i'm just going to be a fking LOSER marching with the sec2s and 1s. such a disgraceful act. i'll rather be a performer on stage and make a fool of myself.

TO HELL WITH WORDS