I dreamt...













that mum bought nutella for me.
and it happened.

I don't know, maybe I do. But whatever it is, it's getting on my nerves. I get easily pissed and hurt recently and it stinks like no other business. Friday (and Thursday) s>cked to the core. It felt like...emptiness. or should the real word be: solitude. Cause I really felt like I didn't belong. Not in class, not in a group. No clique to cling on, no bestfriend to lean on, no nothing. Kept thinking about it during tutorial and I realised how true it was.

I havent had this feeling since secondary school and it took me a really long time to get back on my feet. But I had to brush it away because I know that it doesn't really matter to anyone else. When you die, you get buried in your coffin alone. Everyone is busy, too busy to care. What is with the saying, "A friend in need is a friend indeed." It's a one-way thing? You help another but when you feel like the scum of the universe, this "friend" just walks away to have lunch. Well then, I have many friends.

What would I do without you? (1) Maybe gone home and start mutilating my arm or (2) done a slightly less maladaptive behavior like going to the library to read and do my homework. With occasional suddent burst of tears and such. Probably I might get kicked out of the library for making the books wet or something. or (3) get another ear piercing or maybe an eyebrow piercing. GOSH.

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Thank you and sorry cause you waited in and (outside) the ladies.
Even though you had other matters to attend to.
Thank you and sorry for eating your ITAS food and chocolate.
Even though you were hungry too.
Thank you and sorry for doing the unimaginable (like crying) during lesson
& for being in my own zone & being late (yet again).
Even though you could have used the time for other more informative purposes.
Thank you and sorry for ignoring and tuning out your words.
Even though you could have talked to the wall and received more response.
Thank you and sorry for wasting your time.
Cause I know that someone needs you more than me.

Thank you for being so understanding.
Sorry for being such a pussy and crybaby.

I suck. (big time)

QUIT WHINING AND F>CKING COMPLAINING. or I shall whack you with a fly swatter.


I'm not kidding. If your class average is like better than 44, then seriously, SHUT THE F>CK UP. 2 days of extra time and still that isn't enough. Put yourself in our shoes and how would you feel? We barely had time to study with lit review due on Sunday, Monday was the only time for us to study. Coming from someone who didn't hand in her Leadership proposal and went for a 3 days crash course at TPRAWKS! Technically, everyone else had more time to study. WHY COMPLAIN? WHY WHY, ALL YOU FREAKIN' GENIUSES OF TOMORROW? but then again, life was never fair, was it?

Good luck, still. Valerie shall get 66 for the test. (:

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Someone or something is bugging the sh>t out of me. How to make it go away? Should I whack it with a fly swatter too?

HELP!

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On a lighter note, donating blood today and I AM (strangely) EXCITED. My brother very casually said that the needle they will be using is bigger than the one that was used during medical check-up. & it will be left there for a much longer time. Thanks a lot for the...assurance!

BUT STILL, I AM AN-TI-CI-PA-TING!

WOOT! TPRAWKS just ended. 3 days of LOA was worth it. Met with lots of new people, be it TP students or not. (: Visit tp4me.blogspot.com for some of the photos. I'm like photo deprived, didn't take even one photo using my phone (wait, I think I took 2). PEOPLE, send me pics leh, I want to photo spam! & WALKIES should have camera! Those bulky things need to have other purpose besides communication and making users look totally cool (especially with earpiece).

Besides photo deprived, I'm totally sleep deprived. Reach early, end late. And taking bus 72 at ungodly hours of the morning is like... so unlike me. Taking a cab home is like...so unlike me. And got scolded by mum for reaching home really late, but making it seem as though someone else paid the taxi fee and said that Ben Neo accompanied me home (which is totally true! Kinda). Manipulation of the truth? WAHAHA! Nothing can replace the 3 days. Seriously.

*inserts big big smiley here*

GGG❤ > TOMA❤ (for once)
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COMING BACK TO REALITY... 3 days of homework and just found out that I am really totally behind on my studies. *dies* I need to do late night mugging. Tests next week and I havent read most of the chapters. AHHHHHH! (and I'm still blogging) Had class committee meeting and I spent like my allowance for this week on DECALS. o.O Really depressing but someone needs to get the job done.

PLEASE BUY A DECAL, FROM ME! (CCN Day is over but it doesn't matter.)

Self, stop wasting time. Time for homework. Time for sleep. Time to catch up. But first, time to eat. (:

I apologize soonhock, for pangseh-ing you for the 5000th time. ): Meeting at 11.45pm and I can't go out due to reasons like (1) it's really late, (2) mum won't allow me out after 11pm (unless chaperoned), (3) I have religious class in the morning, (4) need to wake up at 6am tomorrow and (5)fever just won't go away.

SORRY alright, yet again. I'm really sorry for always never making it for gatherings because school work keeps haunting me time and time again. This are my 5 excuses and it's not valid and I understand that. Sorry. Saturday ice-skating, I will try to make it.



❤

RIGHTTT... First CCN experience. It was eye opening, mind blowing, body sweating, throat drying and simply, tiring but fun experience. Photography booth and directly opposite us was Visual Central's professional photography booth complete with blue back drop, lightings and a big A3 size poster with "$2" embellished right smack in the center of it. How to compete with that?

Plan #2: SELL FOOOOOOOOOD!
It went great alright. I love toasted marshmallows with melting chocolate coating topped with chocolatey chocolate rice, chocolate chips and HEALTHY multi-grain corn flakes. (: I told people it was healthy, but nobody was convinced.

Went around school to sell our lovely "I ♥ TP" decals. Priscilla was wearing this kimono (or whatever it may be) and I wore her "flashers' trench coat". As quoted by B.A.D.'s founder, Pitt. (: We sold plenty alright! Not kidding.

At the end of the day, took pictures, stole flowers from A03 (Shu bought me one! AWW), bought some stuff (wait, Priscilla paid for me - Thanks for the square-ish unready-made HSS figuring), whacked zs's shoulder and pitt's belt using a my green whip of DOOM, took an official B.A.D. group photo, cleaned up and we were off. Need to sell more DECALS.

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Watched Gab, Lex and Aslam play soccer. Commentaring is hard work, I wonder how people are able to talk non-stop about the game for like...90 minutes. -.- And I asked one of the guys, "Are we distracting you guys?" and he said, casually, "Yeah." MUAHAHA! Had fun with shuyun and janell. And climbing over the school gate was an unethical thing to do, hence we weren't allowed to do it in secondary school. But then again, the school gate wasn't as high as the ones now. GOSH.

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I'm glad it's all over! Class committee meeting on Thursday, 1pm.

ARGH! Honestly, this term is going to be extremely stressful. With CCN Day tomorrow, I can feel like AGM is being relived again. Feeling like everything is piling up. Which means that there will be less time to sleep. Which could mean that I will get grumpy and temperamental on selected days. ARGH!

10 things I want to do right now:

1) Punch a wall.
2) Clench my fist, really hard.
3) Pull my hair, until I pull my roots out.
4) Slap someone.
5) Throw a glass at the wall - watch it shatter
6) Ram into something.
7) Write really hard until the pen snaps and paper tear.
8) Pull another girl's hair.
9) Carry a really heavy weight and drop it from somewhere high.
10) Poke a big sponge using my black cow pencil.

I need to binge eat and drink a lot of green tea. Starting to feel pressurised and overwhelmed yet again. Hating it. Shall get over it but not now, not today.