I have some serious issues to deal with now. All the bottled up unspoken feelings are raging to get out. If I had a gun (water gun), I would go on a shooting rampage. Being in a situation when you don't speak, you hurt yourself. When you do speak, others get hurt. For me, hurting others is the same as hurting oneself. You are what the people around you are. Seriously. When you feel down, I feel like crap too.

I need to come clean. Like bleach clean. Iron-dried. & then sew back all the loose ends. Simply had enough of all the fake excuses. FAKE, FAKE, FAKE. I apologize, it's not like I had any say when I got this. But you did. You chose to be what you are now. What is with all the dumb, lame excuses you keep giving?

Ever heard of empathy. Screw you, I've had enough! Too much giving, it gets tiring to be nice. If you treat this like just another hobby or a forced responsibility, well, it definitely wasn't. Who was the one who stood in front giving their visions and mission and making all those empty promises? COnfidently, you stood there like you meant what you say. Mind you, all those are just words. Where is the action? Why don't you walk the talk?

You told me how to improve myself and my position but what about you? All talk. Maybe if you were any good, you could have handled it better. But no, you screwed up just as bad as me. Eat your own sh>t won't you. I've been pushed in this ditch and I know I can't get out of it alone. Where are you then? I made this my top priority, sometimes even before my family or friends, if I have any left. All these while, I had to put off plans cause I know what I am and what I have to do. Come on, I have a life too. But when I'm doing all of this sh>t alone, how much time do I have left to live?

So, damn it. Why don't you just do your job well and we can get it over and done with? Where's your heart in this? Let me tell you one thing, JUST SHUT UP and DO SOMETHING. I hate when people say they tried their best and hence, they should get an 'A' for effort. Life's not like that, you need PROVE to show your effort and one of the best ways is to make that something a success.

You're tired? Isn't it you, yourself, who put yourself into all this sh>t? I'm wasting all this effort worrying about everyone's progress that it's beginning to lose all its incentive values. Why don't I just get myself out of this sh>t and may all of you do everything that I am doing now. I'm putting in all this effort for what again? You don't understand just how much I had to struggle initially. Seriously, you won't know. The least that you could do is do the smallest of things, like taking the initiative to do what you were meant to do anyway. Screw those people who put others off. Manpower is low and the reliable ones are already involved.

SCREW YOU.